from now on my penis is your penis
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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