i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
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well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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