grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
