i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
