this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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