I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
