i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
