I wish I could teleport
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it hurts more in the daytime
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize