You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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