she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
