Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
