let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
