matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
