Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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