JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
