Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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