you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
