I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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