I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize