Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize