How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
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I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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