So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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