no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
