dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize