I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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