My nipple is on Facebook.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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