I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
