so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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