Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize