Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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