is your mom at the bar?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
