youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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