go do what you do best...puke behind churches
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
