let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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