And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
