i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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