that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
