i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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