it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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