If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
