Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
