Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
