Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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