Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
