I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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