i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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