farters have to be the big spoon...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
