I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
