how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
