your thong is hanging out like whoa
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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