If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you had me at cake vodka
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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