spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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