): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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