And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
