im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
