i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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