he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
