When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
