Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
