her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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