my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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