new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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