I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
