I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
