This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
